MONTHLY MESSAGE

This month: Rediscover home comforts

Rain, rain, go away. Add cold wind to the damp weather, mix in a little grey skies, and if I'm not careful, November can turn into a month-long pity party. So here's what I do to stave off my own Blue Mondays (and Tuesdays, Sundays, and everything in between): I work with what I have and make it incredibly special. Staying at home? Make it a spa night. Stormy weather? Perfect for spoiling myself and a friend with my very own recipe for truffled mushroom risotto.

And here's why I do it: it turns a bleak month into something magical. When I steer my pleasures toward home, I can be in charge. Who cares if spending a Friday night on the sofa in a fluffy dressing gown is a bit lazy? I can celebrate an at-home date with a simple luxury like a glass of wine, or invite close friends over for sofa-worthy cocktails and an array of tempting hor d'oeuvre. It's a bit more effort than waving a wand, but worth every moment of preparation.

If I keep the enchantment going, I can make the word "hibernate" into something luxurious. I fizz up my bathwater with special salts and scented bubbles, warm up towels, and slip into the water with a good book. Or I spend time at the stove over the perfect French onion soup. With a touch of sherry and some patience, even caramelising onions feels special.

The important thing isn't so much what I do as how I do it. Whether I splurge on something just a tad extravagant that's just for me or treat some friends to a gossip-filled, three-course dinner, my aim is to create a circle of comfort at home that warms all who enter it. And I know when I've done it just right – because the moment feels like magic.

October: Feast this Autumn

Now that summer's truly and completely over, I have a confession to make: I'm an October girl. I fully admit that the July-to-September calendar is lovely, but this summer has been a bit of a disappointment after the umpteenth summer downpour. I'm always excited by the tactile comforts of cool-weather clothing, and breezy temperatures rev up my steps – yes, partly to sales featuring suede boots and cashmere sweaters, but it's not just nubby tweeds and suede boots at my place. October refreshes my table as well, as late-harvest fruits and veggies revive just in time to overflow my market basket.

Invariably, Autumn is when I rediscover the pleasures of cooking for myself. The heat of the oven and hob, oppressive in summer, are suddenly welcoming and new again. I find myself caramelizing onions and braising things to update the casseroles I take to work for lunch. And this is where simple vegetables shine: aubergine parmesan, stuffed peppers – paired with soups and stews, or just as filling when joined up with a baguette or salad. When I have time, I thump together a piecrust and some Autumn fruit – but I'm just as likely to linger over a baked pear accompanied by a swirl of cream and a shake of nutmeg.

Now of course I can't spend all hours in the kitchen. But who says I can't create that cosy, budget-friendly feeling elsewhere? At work, I can toss a pinch of cinnamon in my coffee or use it to elevate a simple buttered sweet potato. I can keep a cherry-coloured cardigan at my desk for a brisk walk at lunch with a friend. Meet a date for coffee and conversation instead of the latest cocktail at the latest place with the latest people. It's a personal peace that's easily shared with those I love. Comfort, after all, is what you make of it – not just what it's made of.

September: Perfect pairs

September's cooler weather always gets me in the mood to sort through my life and make a fresh start. But it's not only about getting rid of things that aren't working. What it also helps me see is what IS working, with fresh eyes. I'm thinking of inspired pairings of clothes that transport an image into "classic" status.

And so I find myself playing with pearls and draping them over a modern little black dress. Or spritzing a citrusy perfume over my crisp cotton pillowcases to freshen them up. It's a small thing – but sinking into a cool pillowcase faintly smelling of sharp, sweet orange is my idea of heaven.

Even my kitchen isn't safe from these pairings – the partnership of pears and walnuts into a simple-but-perfect salad at lunch gives way to the bliss of red wine with crusty bread and sharp cheese for dinner. And there's no doubt that strawberries and cream are delectable on their own but paired together in a simple glass dish, they're a meal fit for a queen.

But this works even better when I step out of my own private nook and get together with friends and family. It's clear that when I join up with my boyfriend, we're better entertainment - for us and anyone else - than when we're apart. It's a bit of a Fred-and-Ginger issue: we're perfectly lovely on our own, but coming together makes a spark, a dance, an unforgettable evening (or lunch, or dog walk). And as for my best friend… somehow we yin to the other's yang and complement each other in just the right ways, so that despite our differences (or squabbles) we end up better just for the other's presence. She's the gin, I'm the tonic – and together we're more than fun, more than classic. We're extraordinary.

August: Escape at lunchtime

It's summer, and that means one thing (aside from the fresh farm veggies, gorgeous flowers, calling birds and honeysuckle everywhere): wedding season. And with love in the air and pretty dresses on my mind, I'm actually sharpening my daydreaming skills. Here's what I mean:

I'm not planning my own Big Day, but it's still fun to let my imagination wander during my lunch break. (It's definitely better than gossiping at my desk or worse, working through lunch.) On balmy days I chill out on my picnic rug, but even rain can't wash my dreams away -- I just curl up in a comfy chair in the corner café during a downpour. My romantic reverie makes for the perfect spot of escapism; I cast my mind to my own love stories past, present and future. And in my daydreams, anything goes, so even the cute barista makes an appearance.

I'm allowing a little chiffon and silk to shimmy into my daydreams as well as into my wardrobe and making the rounds shopping at lunch for the perfect dress. A fabulous wedding outfit that's made for sweeping one of the groomsmen off his feet. Killer heels to make the nicest man play naughty.

And whether I'm hand-in-hand with a lover or just happily single, my romantic musings put a rosy spin on even the most ordinary day. So for now I'm letting my afternoon free time sparkle and flow. Even if my lunch break isn't exactly a garden-party, it's growing more serene by the day – and that's happiness enough to last me until I dress up for my next RSVP.

July: Picnic in the park

With warm weather nearly here, I've realised it's time to bring my light-hearted self out from under wraps. Yes, I still wear a sassy trench occasionally – but at a certain point I want to flex my muscles and show a little skin.

It's all tasteful and very Audrey, of course, since I'm thinking "classic sleeveless shift" rather than "beach blanket bikini." But it's inspiring me to walk tall, accessorise with care, and eat deliberately. No more skipping breakfast or hastily rummaging for something (anything!) to eat at my desk. And I'm paying better attention to getting my five-a-day, adding a veggie to every meal and snacking on fruit.

And it really does pay off. I feel so much more energised, so much more taken-care-of. Even my hair seems bouncier. Friends have remarked on a newfound glow in my complexion, a spring in my step. (Note to self: keep inviting these friends to lunch.) It helps that I'm not just toting the usual suspects like celery and carrots. I've found that punching up my lunchbox with more exotic yummies like starfruit and guava can add a frisson of discovery to my diet. Okay, so I'm not jetting from country to country – but I can at least savour what they're eating south of the equator.

And as I switch out my wardrobe, I'm retiring my boredom with my wooly sweaters. Instead, I'm saying Yes to cute sandals, Yes to a bright yellow bangle, and Yes to cucumber ribbons atop my salad and bright spears of red pepper to pack up with hummus and pita. I'm savouring more than just the food, too – this very bearable lightness of being seems to get me out of doors more often, whether it's for exercise or just to bask in the sun. It's not the Holly Golightly party circuit, but the simplicity of a plein-air picnic – complete with uber-stylish sunhat - perks me up just fine.

June: Make your lunchtime fabulous

Ah, the sweet heat of June. Who can resist the siren call of summer? I tend to run fancy free, spending a little more on strawberries in season, singing on the way to work, and finding it easier to say yes to get-togethers with friends.

And who says it's all about spontaneity? Sometimes the best choices are those we plan ahead of time. So, I'm gilding my lunch hour a little; with appointments for lush but quick spa treatments like blow dries and pedicures. And as for my new melon-coloured toes? They deserve better than stockings or last-season's shoes. So I'm headed out on a much needed sandal shopping trip. After all, is there any better time than lunch to kick up my heels in some stylish footwear?

And of course once you're properly shod, other decisions become simple; why gather my girlfriends to take lunch at the same cute café we always visit, when we can reserve a coveted table at that fancy new restaurant or meet for drinks at a hip rooftop bar? (Flirting with cute bartenders is entirely optional.)

But upgrading my life isn't just about frivolous purchases or even meeting friends in fabulous places. It's just as fun for me to make "party of one" exactly that – with lunches that elevate even my homeward life with a few selective changes; drinking sparkling juice out of a champagne flute, or using a silk scarf as a tablecloth, for example.

And I love this fabulous month, when the sun inserts a little more daring attitude into my dates with fellow ladies-who-lunch, my beach read from the new bookstore on the corner, and the wink I give to the new barista next door. I don't need to be rescued from the heat – I just add a little ice to my drink, slip on some ribboned sandals, and tilt my head to the sun.

May: Brighten up your day

April: Fabulous friends

I don't know about you, but I'm feeling a little flat. Using my springtime energy to work hard and get ahead got a little out of control, and my friends are leaving plaintive messages that start with "Where ARE you?" and end with "This is getting really old." Yes, I'm getting ahead at work. But No, I do not want to get ahead at the expense of every friend I have.

So this month I'm getting back in the game. That's the game of life, my friend – complete with friends, evening plans, and daytime trips out into the world beyond my cubicle. But keeping my nose to the grindstone has become a bad habit, and we all know bad habits like to trip you up worse than 4-inch Jimmy Choos.

How do I win back my friends after weeks of benign neglect? I like to think of it as the carpet-bomb of love and social activity: I list all my friends, pick one for each day of the week, and send out invitations to mix and mingle all over town. Katie and I meet for lunch and shopping during the workday, because April showers mean it's the perfect time to pick up a springtime trench and a bright new bag. Lauren and I hook up for a quick lunchtime mani-pedi in anticipation of an island jaunt with plenty of sun and sand. And I'm grabbing a drink tomorrow night with an old crush – who may be worth those 4-inch stilettos after all.

And it's working. My life feels fresh and energised again. Yes, I still have a job to do, but work is resuming its proper place. My friends? They call with last-minute invitations, knowing that "spontaneity" is now my middle name. I've actually had to add a few more LBDs to my closet's party-dress corner. And the best part is that it's been so simple, so easy, that it's clearly exactly the cure for what could have been an all work, no play month. And that's putting a spring in my step, no matter what heels I wear.

March: Put a spring in your step

Yes, that's me you see there – curled up on the couch to sneak a marathon showing of Mistresses. And yes, you also saw me picking a little too often at my salad and ordering chips every day last week. And it shows… maybe not in my figure but definitely in my joie de vivre.

So it's nice that March offers a new beginning, of returning sunlight and budding trees and the first hints of truly lovely weather. And just in time, too, because I need a little push to keep on my healthy-living track. (Who doesn't?) In not-so-distant Springs I might have spent time jumping in puddles, or picking other people's daffodils for a little rush. These days I'm looking for fun that's a little less juvenile. I don't want to rely on too many externals, but exercising and eating right and spending time with friends really is nicer when you can literally see the sunny side of the street.

And so I'm getting outdoors, renewing my energies, and focusing on what works - for me. New Year's resolutions? I'm ditching the foolish ones and keeping the ones that propel me forward. Recent setbacks? I'll toss an apple in my bag and walk away from any guilt. Try a street café for lunch today. I’ll write up a menu for a week of healthful dinners using baby spring veggies. Maybe I'll even jump a puddle or two (and buy new boots for the occasion).

Because really, I can plan and forecast all I want, but it's today that needs keeping, whether that means adding a veggie to my plate or walking an extra few minutes or just writing that long-due thank you note. And even if it's just me helping myself along, there's still something special about the power of one.

February: Love is good

It's funny, isn't it? How last month's resolutions of fitness and dieting are followed so quickly by February's rampant sentimentality and a proliferation of chocolate. And Valentine excess can be so very… excessive, whether you have a lover or not.

My life doesn't fit into a heart-shaped box. I'm not a cynic about love, mind you – it's just that I don't need sentimental cards, a dozen reds, or even jewellery to, well, wear my heart on my sleeve (even though any of those things is a sweet surprise). So I subvert the day entirely, because why should I wait until mid-month to have a red-letter day?

And so it begins. First, I give thanks for my friends and family, because they're with me through thick and thin (and usually this is a good thing). Next, I take the adage of being "healthy, wealthy, and wise" to heart: I get plenty of rest and eat healthful food, but I also spend time acting on my dreams and desires, whether they be career ambitions, spiritual goals, or just having that last champagne truffle before my girlfriend spies it.

Yes, I send a few valentines. And I look smashing in red, if I do say so myself. But I build my love on something more solid than a lacy box of dark chocolate. For good or ill, family and friends will always be with me, supporting my dreams and making me feel loved and cherished. And I make sure to look for love in all the right places – beginning in the mirror.

January: New Year, New Start

Once the festive merry-go-round stops, it's easy to get lost in other people's New Year's resolutions. I always hear the same litany around the water cooler: I will lose weight, exercise more, be kinder to parents / children / animals. And it's not that these aren't admirable goals – but they don't exactly feed the soul, either.

This year I'm setting my sights a bit higher. No more pledges to deprive myself of food or set punishing targets on a treadmill. Instead, I'll promise myself to spend more time having lunch with friends, without a carrot stick in sight. Yes, I may order a few more vegetables at the cafe. But I'll focus on the moment, on the beauty of another year of plenty friendship and laughter – and I'll be sure to share a lemon tart with my sweet friend.

So this year will be about taking care of myself. Not with restrictive, labourious lists of "Thou shalt nots." Instead, I'll commit to more leisurely baths with plenty of fizzy salts and fragrant soaps. To more good books (or even trashy ones, just because I feel like it). To more time spent not in a frenzy of activity but in just being myself.

And really, isn't this time perfect for metamorphosis? The chilly skies and the icy streets demand a certain austerity that I just refuse to give. So if the day is wet, I'll break out a cheery umbrella on my way to work. Arctic winds? I'll cosy up to a new book and a hot cup of tea, or brave the cold to meet friends for a drink after work. And work on my sole resolution: never to forget to feed my soul.

December: Celebrate your lunch

When the weather outside is frightful, what better time is there to celebrate? The wind and snow and early sunsets are definite incentives to make this month, well, delightful. But for me, celebrations aren't just about having a big party or wearing sparkly shoes. Lovely as the dresses and evening party circuit are, I like to throw a little glitter and excitement toward my daytime life too so that I really make the most of the festive season.

It starts when I wake up, (although I have to admit that my snowflake pajamas are a holiday in themselves). I really do try to pause and smell the roses – which means, of course, that I have to actually buy roses, just for me, in peppermint-stick colours. And I take my time with my morning tea, too. No bags, no microwaved mugs. Just a small, calm respite that lets me focus my energies on making sure my day starts off with sugar and spice and everything nice.

The rest of the day is as packed with small presents to myself like an advent calendar. I add a bright scarf to punch up my sedate coat. I place a small gift for my favourite colleague on her chair at lunch. I doodle a few party dresses on my notepad next to my list of festive soirees. I make lunchtime work for me: addressing a few Christmas cards at my favourite café or shopping for the perfect gift for my mum. And it's these small pleasures that help me get through the usual tasks of work, shopping for presents, and prepping for evening parties.

And by tying a ribbon, so to speak, on the little things, I'm able to expand my holidays into so many other nooks of life: the small festivities of dressing up, the excitement that comes from meeting new people. And most of all, I have the feeling of being in just the right place for a magical experience.

November: The Simple Lunch

In November, a Wuthering Heights sort of month of rain and bleak wind, I find myself scaling back a bit, anticipating the rich food (and empty purse) of the upcoming holidays. A little austerity this month can set off those glittering days and nights nicely – but that doesn't mean that I need to feel as wet and grey as the weather outside. So with the Christmas and the New Year peeping around the corner, it's time to use all my ingenuity to concoct meals that won't break the bank - or drive my friends to wonder what new diet I'm trying. And really – aren't the simplest meals best?

Just think for a minute. How do you socialise with friends and keep yourself from overspending? Salads seem a bit cold for November, but warm meals can be had from a few simple ingredients: enlist your lunchmates – one to bring crusty bread, another to bring some marinated veggies or crumbly cheese, and another to bring a thermos of soup big enough for all. Try a simple dessert that's easy to split – a hearty cake, some pears poached in red wine, or anything else that takes the best of the season and ties it up with a bow. If none of you is a Nigella-in-training, you can still find these ingredients easily (and inexpensively) at a local shop.

So as the nights darken and the weather blusters and blows, I ward off any gloom with the small necessaries: a cup of dark, creamy hot chocolate - the pinnacle of comfort – or a simple meal with a friend or two to laugh with me over the table. And as we raise our mugs (of soup, or chocolate, or tea) and clink them together, we welcome the blustering wind and look forward to the festive month to come.

October: Add some sparkle to your lunch

Like you, I'm ready for a change. Maybe it's the brisk winds of October stirring up a little daredevil in me, but after a morning of emails and to-do lists lunchtime seems the perfect moment to deviate from the path of least resistance. If I eat one more pallid sandwich or salty instant soup I'll turn into someone who has no sense of adventure. And really – I deserve to enjoy myself, even if it's just by following the scents of the nearest bakery.

So here's my plan. Whatever I usually do for lunch - I stir it up. Instead of turning right at the light, I'll turn left, and see what's on the sunny side of the street. I'll trade sandwiches for salads (and salads for sushi). I'm trying something new every single day – not because I'm on some kind of reforming kick but just because I get a kick out of it.

And it's just my luck that there's so much out there to try: chefs experimenting with new seasonal menus and new bistros popping up like mushrooms. Even if I don't have time for an excursion, I can always bring in something tart or spicy or delectably yummy to eat. Mango and prawn salad. Sticky chicken wings. Baked apples and cinnamon. Try it yourself - easy to make, delicious to consume, even if it must be at your desk. But make sure to get out for a jaunt tomorrow.
Because hunger is the best sauce, but delight is the food of the soul. (Meet me at the corner - I know a great little place…)

September: Accessorise your lunch

It's September, and because autumn will always mean swirls of fallen leaves, and the re-appearance of hot meals and steaming drinks, it's time to upgrade your sad little lunchbag to something more befitting the season. Lady September, after all, is the patron saint of anticipation, repressed excitement, and hopeful beginnings (remember your pristine notebooks and fresh pencils?). And if you can afford to linger in front of shop windows full of cozy clothes and sleek new leather bags, surely you can spend a little attention on something you use every day.

Think about it: fresh supplies once gave us the courage to endure years of essays and exams. Our desks and papers have grown up, so what better time to reap the harvest of our good works? It's time to turn our faces to the wind and listen to her whisper: Reward yourself and conquer. Turn from summer's heat and embrace the crispness of autumn.

I've learned that it's not the huge expenditures that bring happiness. Even replacing a dreary lunchbag with one in scarlet or stripes can make a midday meal hum. Even a quick addition of a woven basket with a flower and a linen napkin can turn humble ingredients into a feast. And next time, revitalise the meal itself. Replace ketchup with chutney. Bananas with passionfruit. Lettuce leaves with rocket. It's time to re-orient ourselves to the golden light of autumnal days and linger a little longer in the bounty of the outdoors. If you look closely, you'll see me there.

I'll be the one with the orange chrysanthemum.

August: Lunch is good

I’ve got a secret to share…

My golden summer secret comes from a trip abroad that turned out to be far, far more than a holiday. Yes, there were green trees and hot sands and cicadas purring all around. We tried to tie cherry stems into knots with our tongues and laughed at silly jokes that bubbled up like the drinks we drank.

And it was while I sat there with my friends that I realized that none of us were counting calories. No one was talking about diets or ‘making up for this later’. Time spent eating and laughing, time that I used to see as a semi-guilty indulgence, had in the twinkle of a moment become an actual thing to be pursued.

And I knew that I could never go back. I mean, I could return home – I still had rent to pay and shoes to lust after – but I couldn't go back to measuring my existence in the same way. No more pallid meals carefully crafted to minimize carbs. No more food that fueled only my thoughts of carving away at myself. No more quiet cravings.

Because this is a secret that stays with you – sticks to your ribs, in fact – the secret of spending time under sunny skies, enjoying fruit and sandwiches and a drink on a blanket under a tree, all of it just for me. It can't compare to my previous life – to wolfing down what I used to think was a ‘sensible’ lunch – a meager meal that left crumbs on my mousepad.

I've learned the secret of living a life meaningful to me, of taking time for myself and getting out – out of the office, out of the usual routine, out of an external sense of myself that had nothing to do with what I truly wanted. This time around, my days are punctuated by a picnic blanket, and lunch is good. And now my secret is out. And if you want to sit there at your desk, fine. But I think you'd rather be out here with me.